“There’s no need to worry,” they tell you. That’s fine for them: you’re the one with the high-pressure job, a car that keeps breaking down, a big mortgage, a marriage under strain. Anxiety is a natural response to the pressures that surround us. It becomes a problem when it starts to rule your life.
Have you got a problem?
Anxiety is a normal emotion that engages our fight-or-flight response. It’s almost like an instinct, although the way we tend to think about things can heighten or dampen the degree to which we feel the anxiety.
Think of anxiety as an internal alarm system that alerts us to potential dangers lurking around the corner. For example, you may be feeling keyed up and on edge just before talking to your boss about that rise you think you deserve.
Your hand may become clammy and your heart may race as adrenaline pumps into your system, but you’re also focused on the potential dangers in asking for a 10 per cent rise and that extra week of holiday.
This is a natural and healthy response: you’re getting ready for whatever it is that the boss throws your way.
The problem with anxiety is that it can get out of hand, overwhelming you with the idea that something is more dangerous than it actually is. This happens because of illogical things in terms f black and white only. Over generalizing, jumping to conclusions, and discounting the positives and focusing on the negatives. To return to our earlier example, if you’re prevented from asking your boss for a rise because you keep focusing on the one time he criticized your work and ignore all the times he praised it, you do have an anxiety problem.
An extreme anxiety problem may show itself in panic attacks. The attacks typically last a few minutes, and their symptoms may include hyperventilation, pounding of the heart, shaking, and feeling that you are going to faint.
Keep the lid on anxiety
We know that advice is easy to give and hard to carry out, but here are a few techniques that experts say will keep anxiety to manageable levels:
- Make a conscious effort to breathe slowly and deeply and to relax your muscles
a written note to yourself will make a good reminder. You can practice your breathing during calm moments by putting one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. If you’re breathing from you diaphragm, which is the correct way, your lower hand should move out as you breathe in while your upper hand won’t move at all.
- Face your fears a little at a time, but don’t run
the only way to overcome them is to stay in the situation that makes you anxious.
- Try to examine the way you typically think and react
Do you tend to be negative, for example, or do you ask too much of yourself? Try to sort out the good responses from the bad, and refocus on the positive.
- Get physical!
release through exercise, and avoid caffeine and alcohol, both of which can disrupt an already precarious sleep pattern.
- Share your feeling
Share your feeling of anxiety with a caring friend and family members, or a professional, such as a counselor or your doctor.
Develop a winning attitude
Part of a successfully coping with anxiety is feeling positive and confident about yourself and the world around you. There are a range of strategies with which you can develop a positive, winning attitude. Some may work better than others, depending on your proclivities; they can take you outside of your own problem and give you a positive role.
- Cultivate caring
Men who have no pride and no motivation have often stopped caring. Find things that interest you and pursue them. Remember that old but helpful piece of advice: try, try again. Pain and difficulties are things we cannot escape in life, but it is a measure of our success that we try.
- Do good deeds
Something as simple as helping out an elderly neighbor with the garden can help you maintain a balanced, positive outlook. Volunteer work can give you sense of purpose.
- Focus on your greater purpose
We tend to become preoccupied with the minutiae of daily life and lose sight of the larger picture. Think about why you’re here and hat you want out of life.
- Concentrate on specifics
With all the messages bombarding us day in and day out, it’s hard to pick out the ones that we really need to listen to. Learn to focus on the messages that are relevant to you.
- Choose a positive path
There are many reasons to choose a course of action, but you need to look deep inside yourself and figure out the path that makes you happiest.
- Sweat it out
Exercise allows you to think more clearly.